Accept. Take, for a change. I’m not very good at being passive. Arms are next. As she works, I recall how I once hated my upper arms, how I wouldn’t wear sleeveless tops even on sweltering summer days. She somehow senses this and asks, ‘Did I trigger a memory?’ ‘Baggage,’ I admit. ‘Good riddance.’ ‘Gotcha. This isn’t easy for you. I can tell.’ Is it that obvious? I don’tknow how to respond, so I do what I typically do in those situations: I retreat. I tiptoe away, leaving my body to enjoy her touch without the interference of my mind. Alone in my little emotional cave, safe and dark, I wonder why I invest so much energy into hiding my insecurities. In so doing, what do I achieve? More importantly, perhaps, what do I lose? The deepest, most fulfilling relationships I’ve ever known are those in which I bare those insecurities—or, at the very least, am willing to do so. Is there any love deeper than the absence of fear? ‘You’re doing great, though.’ Her voice follows me into my mind. . For now just a G&T please."I smiled across the old wooden bar at her and nodded as I set about preparing the drink. I slid it towards her with a wink, and trying my hardest to sound seductive I said, "This one is from me, on the house." Well, how sweet, but surely there must be something I could give you?" She wrapped her red lips around the straw of her drink and the swelling in my jeans became more painful than uncomfortable.I looked around the bar and checked my watch, my heart beating faster as I realised I was almost on break. "You could join me on my lunch break and we can talk it out, if you'd like. I'm about to get off." To be honest I expected rejection, or maybe just more mindless flirting, but when she agreed to join me I almost jumped for joy.I poured the last pint before I could take my break and I stepped out, leaving the work to the other bartenders as I took the lady by the arm and led her out towards my car. On the walk we took every opportunity to feel each other,.
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